Semi-Muteness

I have written several blogs trying to describe what God is doing in my heart through the power of His word and spirit, but have not had peace in posting them. Infact, twice I have posted and then retracted it within hours.

Have you ever experienced something so wide and deep that trying to write a paragraph or even a page to sumarize it seems to cheapen it? Well, that's part of why those posts will remain mere drafts. (I hope you will read the following...though longish.)

Another reason is that God is teaching me how much He does not need me to teach people everything He's teaching me!! Hehe. Some of you may be thinking "duh Sarah!" but this is quite a revelation for me. All who are genuinely seeking Him are hearing from Him too, only the truths are straight from The Source...powerful...and spoken in perfect sync with the rest of the events in the current chapter of their life. Those who are not seeking or hearing from God would not hear spiritual truths in my words anyway, so why think I have power to convince or bring a dead heart to life? (I acknowledge the other side of this in the last paragraph)

Somedays I deeply yearn to retell what He's just opened the eyes of my heart to, but then He reminds me that it is more important to live it than to tell it. In the not so distant past I would sometimes respond to His teaching with great zeal, pass it along to 5 or 10 others I thought would benefit too and then run out of steam and never really get to the part that counts...obeying Christ...loving Him...loving others. He's now led me into a season of hearing, obeying, letting Him produce lasting fruit through me, and letting those that need to be encouraged or challenged observe a life of genuine faith, that's growing...and hidden behind the great glory of Christ.

Also, I looooove to tell stories! Many of the people I'm closest to have commented at some point that they think their life is dull in comparisson to mine, but the truth is that I just think little things are big and worth making into a story. They may have a great day full of meaningful events and report at the end of the day that it was "fine" (lol! I've learned to love this and know that it's not the whole story! This is when question asking skills must come into play), but I'm gonna tell all about how cool it is that God designed us with eyelashes because that day I was riding my bike through a swarm of gnats and squinted my eyes only to discover that I could still see, but the bugs could not get in my eyes!!! You know...the things most people don't remember from their day, but there I sit like a child, wide-eyed and amazed and rolling straight into my next story about how cool it is that we have eyebrows... It can be both good and bad, but that's not the point.
While I'm living each day here, serving God, I don't want to have to be tempted by the thought that this will make a great blog and show everyone that the work here is effective. I prefer to serve God with all my heart, when no one is looking, and let God prove how great He is...so' Deus.

NOW...let me say one last thing that you are probably already thinking...
We are supposed to testify to the great things that God has done!! Indeed! We are also supposed to do our good deeds in secret so that we will not be motivated by the praise and honor of men. I guess this is just one more area where we can not make a rule that works all the time and means we can take a break from abiding in Christ. A life of discipleship is one of following the daily leading of His spirit. Christ said repeatedly that He only did what His Father told Him to do. This is my aim. It will take my whole lifetime to perfect...but that's His job (perfecting my faith that is)!
Also, I believe this is a specific season of semi-muteness (is that a word?) for my life, not neccesarily anyone elses. God has made me a "talker", and a passionate person on purpose...it is not bad, but always in need of God-centered refinement. I find it ironic that my longest post ever is about not needing to tell everyone what God is teaching me all the time!

So today God blessed me to pieces with some open doors to share His love in the wonderful name of Jesus. I have been praying for these, and many of you have been praying for them too! So let me simply say...God alone is great! Amen.